Uncategorized — July 3, 2012 at 1:15 pm

The 10 things you NEED for the 4th of July

by

4th of July Essentials:

It’s that time of the year. The weather is fucking awesome, board shorts are the norm, and sunburns are frequent. We don’t want you to fail at ringing in an epic 4th, so don’t forget to include the following things into your 4th of July.

You are going to need tunes, and by tunes I mean Bruce Springsteen. Press play.

 

Babes: Must have babes in bikini’s.  This is the number one rule for a reason. America was founded on hot chicks like Martha Washington, Dorothy Hancock and Kate Upton.  No party, and I mean NONE can be complete without an array of babes.  Every Enthuz-er already knows this.

Water:  No, not to drink – to party in, on or around.  It’s going to be pretty damn hot on the left coast meaning copious amounts of Bud Heavy just ain’t gonna cut it.

Water Balloon Launcher:  Remember those green hand grenade water balloons?  You’re gonna need some of them too.  I mean, the majority of what we’re celebrating tomorrow is based on launching things at other people.  So fill em’ up and knock em’ down.  Plus water balloon launchers are a team effort, just like the good ol’ USA.

 

Beer To The Face: What? Never heard of it? Canada called, they want you back for the 4th.  Beer To The Face not only has number-1-summer-drinking-activity written all over it, but America written all over it.  Think about it, you play hot potato with a beer then explode it into the losers face.  What other country can afford to waste such a coveted drink in spirit of humiliation? No other country.  Best beer to the face video we get gets some free shit.  (Beer to the Face Rules)

 

Rednecks: Ok you don’t NEED rednecks, but they sure as hell make a good party! Look at the form on that belly flop. A+

Fireworks: You need your OWN fireworks.

Grill: Gotta be grillin’. Although any grill is appropriate, we say “Go big or go home”.

Bud Heavies: Don’t do it for me, don’t do it for Dale, do it for ‘Mericuh.

10. You tell us what we missed in the comments below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>